Couples generally come to Couples Counselling because they feel the relationship has broken down and they do not know how to 'fix' it. But there is no need to wait to use Couples Counselling as a last resort, it can also be helpful to come along to counselling to keep a relationship healthy when small conflicts are beginning to emerge.

 

Couples Counselling is not about having a third person (the counsellor) deciding who is 'right' and who is 'wrong' in the relationship. It is not about the counsellor taking sides and knowing what is the correct way forward for each couple to take.

 

When you come to Couples Counselling we will examine the dynamic between you and your partner to see what is working and what isn't working and learn what has changed since your original commitment to each other.

 

Life events and external factors can rock a relationship and threaten its stability. Sometimes it is not the big events but the everyday annoyances that threaten the relationship. Both partners will inevitably bring their past into the present relationship and this can surface at any time and cause conflict, but especially at times of strain.

 

Communication is key and many couples report that they don't really talk together. They may make the assumption that their partner already knows and understands (or that they 'should' know and understand) how they feel and what they want. 

 

Not being in touch with our own needs and expressing these needs in a relationship can also lead to anger and resentment. It is important that partners recognise their own needs and are able to express these in a way that their partner doesn't hear as a criticism, nor find demanding.

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I will work with you both in a way that helps you to recognise your needs and your behaviours towards your partner so that you can find a way to bring stability and satisfaction into the relationship. My ultimate aim is that you find a deeper level of connection, an ease of communication, and a satisfaction of needs met within the relationship.

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Testimonials:

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After 50 years of knowing each other we found ourselves struggling, we seemed to no longer be able to talk to each other without falling into misunderstanding and increasing acrimony. Last year I decided we needed support, my partner was suspicious and reluctant. However this was one of the best decisions we have ever made. 

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Anne is kind, clear, firm and respectful. At no point whatsoever did I feel unsafe or silly and most importantly for me, my partner who was so unsure and fearful of being exposed, also felt he could trust her. There was nothing we could say that surprised or shocked her, there were no jargon type words, just clarity.

 

We would have no hesitation recommending Anne. Relationship counselling is enriching. Of course I wish we had gone earlier. I am really glad we went and would go back again if I felt we had slipped. (L, aged 70 female)

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I was very reluctant about using a counsellor to help us sort out our communication issues in our marriage. I was, however, finally persuaded to give it a try. Well what can I say! We should've gone earlier. Anne was brilliant. She was kind, non-judgemental, caring and controlled the space really well. Plus there was plenty of laughter. We finished and came away with a head full of tools to use as and when required. Thank you Anne. (A, aged 70, male).

 

Dear Anne,  

We wanted to say thank you for all the support you have provided in getting our relationship back on track. The future now looks so much brighter. 

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The Imago dialogue has proved to be a really useful process for us both to understand and unload the negative thoughts and focus on the positive aspects, and with your help we have managed to do that in a calm and non-judgmental way.

Learning to communicate properly in an open and sensitive manner has completely changed our day-to-day relationship and given us the basis to continue to do so. 

R and L 

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Anne has a really special way with us - I imagine she has that same way with all her clients - we feel held; like she really cares and is looking out for each of us. You need that when you are in relationship counselling. Sometimes you need to talk about something you got wrong - you did the wrong thing or said the wrong thing - and it’s impossible to talk about it unless you feel held. You need to feel safe. Anne does that. That’s the start. Then you need someone who can help you to a better way. Anne taught my wife and I to communicate in a way that has allowed us to understand each other. And that has made all the difference. She really turned us around.

T.

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