Couples generally come to Couples Counselling because they feel the relationship has broken down and they do not know how to 'fix' it. But there is no need to wait to use Couples Counselling as a last resort, it can also be helpful to come along to counselling to keep a relationship healthy when small conflicts are beginning to emerge.
Couples Counselling is not about having a third person (the counsellor) deciding who is 'right' and who is 'wrong' in the relationship. It is not about the counsellor taking sides and knowing what the correct way forward is for each couple to take.
When you come to Couples Counselling we will examine the dynamic between you and your partner to see what is working and what isn't working and learn what has changed since your original commitment to each other.
Life events and external factors can rock a relationship and threaten its stability. Sometimes it is not the big events but the everyday annoyances that threaten the relationship. Both partners will inevitably bring their past into the present relationship and this can surface at any time and cause conflict, but especially at times of strain.
Communication is key and many couples report that they don't really talk together. They may make the assumption that their partner already knows and understands (or that they 'should' know and understand) how they feel and what they want.
Not being in touch with our own needs and expressing these needs in a relationship can also lead to anger and resentment. It is important that partners recognise their own needs and are able to express these in a way that their partner doesn't hear as a criticism, nor find demanding.
I will work with you both in a way that helps you to recognise your needs and your behaviours towards your partner so that you can a way to bring stability and satisfaction into the relationship.
I also offer sessions online using Zoom or Skype and by phone having undertaken a brief training with the Open University.
What to Expect:
I will listen carefully to both parties and difficulties in the relationship will be discussed. It is only necessary to focus on the difficulties with the aim of understanding the underlying dynamic of the relationship which repeats itself in many different guises.
Work will be done so that each partner recognises their own needs in the relationship and gains understanding about healthly communication.
At the same time the couple will be reminded of what brought them together in their original commitment in order to reignite these feelings.
Cost of Sessions:
An initial 30 minute meeting with both partners is offered - no charge and no obligation.
Thereafter I usually suggest that couples attend for sessions lasting 1 hour at a cost of £55 or, if preferred, 1.5 hours at a cost of £75.
Phone: 07896 968518